I see you putting on the same facade for her as you did for me at the beginning

It hurts.  It hurts to remember how amazing you seemed at one point in time.  When we first got together you were everything I had ever wanted.  Then you stopped trying.  You became your normal self.  That was when you started letting me down.
I have to remember that.
You let me down.  You stopped being good for me.
You stopped being good to me.
I don't know why or what happens but I hate that it happened at all.
It hurts that you let me down and it hurts that you're doing the same thing to another girl so soon after you broke my heart.
So now I just wish I didn't feel this way since logically I know this is what's best.
But it feels so painful.

The Weight of Silence by: Heather Gudenkauf

 

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The Weight of Silence was a compelling read.

In a small town, two 7-year-old girls go missing at daybreak.  Calli and Petra are best friends whose families find missing early one morning.

Gudenkauf did a fantastic job creating a compelling cast of characters for perspectives to tell the story from.  This book was a quick read that kept you guessing until the very end.  It was very well written and I thoroughly enjoyed the novel.

"What if the cure for cancer is trapped inside the brain of someone who can't afford an education?"

This quote was written on a bathroom wall and then photographed to be publicized throughout Tumblr.  For the record, I significantly disagree with this quote.  For people who can't afford an education, there are countless resources available for assistance in achieving their goals.  There are multiple ways to earn money to pay for a respectable education.  Those who can't afford an education have ways of being able to.  Thinking there is no way is stemmed from laziness and a false sense of entitlement.  People have to stop thinking the world is owed to them, that it will be handed to them on a silver platter.  They need to grow up and face the world and grab on so they can survive and thrive.  If they think that not being able to afford something is an excuse, that is exactly the kind of thinking that has made Americans arrogant and gotten us into this economy.  The world owes us nothing.  That is something my dad has taught me growing up.  If a nice luxury life is wanted, there are so many ways to earn it.  For starters, an education, which anyone can truly earn and acquire, especially someone who would be smart enough to come up with the cure to cancer.
There are so many scholarships designed specifically for those with a lower income.  Upon Googling scholarships, the first ones to show up in results are always need-based scholarships.  Let me define need-based scholarships for you really quick: they're designed for students who need them because they cannot afford to pay tuition on their own.  There are so many out there, some get wasted because nobody applies for them.  If a student were to take any sort of initiative at all to apply to these scholarships, they could find ones that would make college free for them.  In addition, scholarships are given to those who do well in high school.  If a student studies hard, gets good grades, colleges will beg to give them financial support to attend their "respectable institutions."  I know this because my sister has done just that and has continued receiving love letters from the likes of Vanderbilt since her junior year of high school.
There are also plenty of summer job opportunities for those who have the summer off.  If a student goes to work for the summers during high school, and saves that money earned, there's no telling how much money there will be in the bank for college.  A part time job during the school year adds some more change to the bucket.  After working a part time job for 4 years in high school, for instance, at a restaurant gives the student 4 years of experience to be able to get to working at a better restaurant and make more money while in college.  Plenty of people work their way through college to be able to afford it.
If a student is smart enough, works hard enough, and doesn't give up, there is no way they cannot afford a college education.  Those who use that as an excuse have a sense of entitlement that will get them nowhere in life.  Also, if someone is not smart enough to figure all of this out, there is no way they would be smart enough to cure cancer.

Tell me what you think in the comments below.  Argue with me, debate, or agree with me, ask questions for me to answer!

“Women of your generation are graceless as a front to nature”

Most people don’t recognize the greatness of this quote.  This is such an unspoken truth about the society we have grown to hate.  Nicki Minaj refers to us women as “bad bitches.”  Girls have stopped expecting chivalry and started settling for any guy who pays attention to them.
We are acting graceless.  We don’t have the grace and elegance of past generations.  This is something that has been talked about frequently as of recent.  It is something girls have been insulted for.
The reason for the change in female behavior?  To put up some sort of fight against today’s society/nature, as they call it in this quote.  Because of the culture (song lyrics, subconscious suggestions brought about by movies and tv shows) girls have to act a certain way to be liked.  If we act any other way, we’re “prude,” “stuck up,” and “conceited.”
The songs that are being played today are so demeaning and disrespectful towards women.  Even the 90's music had lyrics that were far more respectful.  A recent hit "Whistle" by Flo Rida is about asking a girl to give him a blow job.  And this song, while distasteful, has been playing everywhere.  Radio hosts laugh at the topic, but this is not something to be laughed about.  This is a disgrace.  Another top song, popular mainly among preteens and young teenagers, "Call Me Maybe" is about the girl pursuing the guy.  They like it because it's "catchy," but they do not understand the impact this has on how they act socially.
As a female, I myself am very guilty of acting like this.  Please don't read this thinking I'm some innocent girl condemning the rest of society.  All I'm trying to get people to understand is that something needs to change.  As a society, we have excuse after excuse for these behaviors.  Yet we still do them repetitively and think they are okay.  Well, guess what, they are NOT okay.  It is not okay to flaunt what we have, ladies.  I get it.  There are a lot of girls who don't have that sexy body you have.  But my choir director from high school used to always tell us "make a man wonder what you have, don't show him."  This quote goes through the back of my mind whenever I get dressed.  Dress in a way that is respectful to your body.  Act your age.  Enjoy being your age.  Don't look forward to getting older or growing up... it's not all rainbows and unicorns, I promise.  Parents should be disciplining their children, not submitting to them.  Parents are saying yes, when they need to say no.  They are putting a leash on their child when they should be just holding their hand.
And ladies, just to clarify, we are not "bad bitches" so stop calling yourselves that.  We are beautiful, strong, and treasures to those who choose to come into our lives.
I just wanted to write a post on this since it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately… I don’t know if anyone will actually read this, but just writing it has helped me clarify this concept significantly.

Today

Today, I met a boy.  Here's how:
I was looking for a computer in the Math Lab, where my mom works.  I had some time to kill and homework to do.  I spotted an empty computer next to an extremely handsome guy.  Little did I know, he would start a conversation with me.  I could tell from the beginning that he was different.  For one thing, he initiated the conversation with me while I was minding my own business.  Usually, it is the other way around for me.
After a conversation, I added him on Facebook.

We have a date for Saturday.

Dreary Days of a Dungeon Slave

Emotionless smiles haunt the faces of the workers biding their time until they until they get promoted to bigger and better things.  As the children bumble in and out of the park, their faces light up as we call them prince or princess.  They love it when we curtsy or bow to them in recognition.  There is never a good balance of the number of workers during a night.  There is always too few or far too many.

There are so many people on this planet.  We are all so worried about finding our soulmate.  None of us truly bring to light the value of finding a true best friend.  To me, that is far superior to romantic love.  I understand how much happiness romance can bring, but knowing that my best friend will be there no matter what has far more benefits.  I'm not sure for guys what this means, but for girls it means getting to chit chat and not having to finish sentences.  It means singing love ballads to one another in the car with the windows down.  It means not having to explain yourself and having someone get what you didn't say.
The random "50 points if you hit a skateboarder"s or "dibs" can never truly measure the impact a lifelong friendship has on us.
Sarah, I know God has blessed me with you in my life and I love you so much.  I understand how often I write about you, but I hope you know that that is the only way I can think of to say how I feel about us.